Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
