Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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