So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
