Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
