The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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