he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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