i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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