my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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