Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
