Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
