you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize