Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and she was petting her beer can
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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