the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
