i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
