Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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