I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
