fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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