Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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