You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
