i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
