I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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