I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
