He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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