and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
