Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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