I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
