We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
