I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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