Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
