So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
