Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
