so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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