You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize