you win again, gameday.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
