Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
