4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
