Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize