I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
