But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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