Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I want to fling myself into the sun
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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