How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize