Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
