I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize