she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
