My friends, they love my intelligence
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
