Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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