Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
that's an acceptable place to lick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
