I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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