whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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