first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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