Don't you send me to vm
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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