was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
