doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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