i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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