You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
