have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Found your dick twin last night
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
