im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
