This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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