TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And then he peed in my hair
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