he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
