i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
