we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
