You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
