I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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