what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize