Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
