just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
