you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
