I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
