my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am naked and annoyed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
